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21 September 2013 @ 08:06 pm
QaF - That Moment When Eveything Makes Sense  
Title: That Moment When Everything Makes Sense
Prompt: That Moment When Everything Makes Sense // “I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren’t all that different.” (Veronica Roth)
Bonus? nope
Word Count: 592
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Queer as Folk
Pairings (if any): Brian/Justin
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc):
Summary: "Because it's not for me. It's for him."

"Because it's not for me. It's for him."

Debbie might have never made more sense to you. And it scares the living daylight out of you. If that's even possible on a night like this. A night that not only sent you on a tailspin, but shook the entire city to its core.

You leave Debbie in the hospital chapel, telling her to give you a call in case... That's not a thought you want to finish. You've been to enough hospitals to know better.

She looks up at you, excepting you to tell her where you're headed but you only place a hand on her shoulder, squeezing down gently. She knows better, know you better, than to actually ask.

This is something you have to do alone. It's nobody's business anyway, and you're afraid that if you'd tell her where you're going, you won't go through with it.

On the way to your car, you reach for your cellphone, and push '1' on your speed-dial.

"Are you still there?" you ask without preamble.

"Yeah, I'm trying to help..."

You interrupt him. "Stay there. Wait for me."

You don't wait for his answer. Just listening to his voice for these few brief words makes your heart skip a beat or three. Is this what it feels like? What everybody's talking about?

Your hands clench tighter around the steering wheel as you try not to get killed in traffic. Firetrucks and police cruisers are still going past you, and the sound of their sirens will stay with you for a while.

You have to park half a block away, and it takes almost all of your patience to explain to one of the cops that you actually own the place and that you need to be behind that police tape.

People are everywhere. Firefighters, EMTs, cops. You seem to bump into each and every one of them on your way. There is still that slight sense of panic in the air, along with so much smoke that it makes your eyes burn.

At least, that's what you tell yourself.

And that's when you spot him. And he is indeed helping. He's assisting one of the EMTs like he didn't just get almost blown up himself. That thought sends a chill down your spine, and you choose to ignore it.

When he sees you, there's the flicker of that smile across his face. It's only a ghost of the smile he gave you four years ago, but at least this time he is walking toward you and not away, and you're fine with that. In fact, just seeing him there is... He hugs you – tight - and you reciprocate in kind. He smells of soot and sulfur but you're fine with that, too.

He pulls back and looks up at you.

That's when it hits you. That's when you know. That's when you are 100% certain that you understood what Debbie was saying.

And you realize something else. You're calm, utterly and totally calm. Amidst all that chaos and death and destruction, you're completely at ease. And then you tell him.

You tell him in the simplest way. It's the only way you know.

You're not scared anymore. The words don't frighten you like they used to. In fact, you were more afraid not to say them - not to be able to say them – that he would never know.

He doesn't reply. He doesn't say it back. He doesn't need to because this is not about you.

This is about him.
Sway: [qaf] cast - Scott's bdayxheartrockx on September 23rd, 2013 07:29 am (UTC)
Thanks, hon ♥